My first title for this short blog was just “Power is Talking”. It came to me as I walked to work, north across Waterloo Bridge in London, thinking about my executive coaching development.
Many people know that walk – look left or right and, even on a bad weather day, you will still marvel at the view. Hardened commuters still stop to take photos.
An additional benefit is that it is a good length to think a few things through. By the time I had got to the other side, I had decided my original title sounded too malevolent, tyrannical even.
As I write this, I am still enjoying my life as a student of Henley Business School (HBS) on their executive coaching course. There are a few months to go, but already the experience has been transformative. There are about 16 students, some participating from the other side of the world. I would expect every one of us would attest to how they have grown these last few months.
I am not quite sure what I was expecting when I enrolled – but it certainly wasn’t what has happened for me.
A key element of the HBS experience is “learning by doing” – in other words, the students practice coaching skills, including on each other. For that to work, we have to bring genuine topics for discussion. That was one thing I had not really focussed on ahead of the course.
What has been fascinating for me in particular is my own reaction to sessions where I have been the coachee. I am not going to discuss the detail of any of that: we all agree not to, and it would be inappropriate on many levels. What I can say is how, very quickly, I learnt to look forward to the discussions and the privilege of being able to talk to someone confidentially and without fear of judgment. What I can also say is that the insight and learning I gained from the discussions carried into my non-course days, and enabled me, sometimes several days later, to think positively about some issue or other, whereas not long before my thinking had been less helpful.
While all the coaches who have spoken with me are themselves students with various levels of coaching experience, each one of them has enabled more helpful thinking in me, including giving me some tools to do my own self-reflective work.
Without going into any detail, I offer one example.
I realised I was deeply burdened by a particular issue and the sentiments that flowed from it. While it has not disappeared in a magical puff of smoke, my coaching conversation has enabled me to reframe and repackage it and I can think about it in far more positive terms. It has made me much happier about who I am and where I am in my world.
Nothing else happened other than some considered, thoughtful talking to get me to this point. It was definitely talking in a coaching context, and was not counselling, but its impact was therapeutic for me.
Leading to my Waterloo Bridge reflections and this conclusion about an effective coaching conversation: power is talking and talking is power.
